Monday, September 15, 2003

Performance enhancing drugs in football...

See this story, I'll wait while you go and read it:

Patriots ink Levitra marketing deal.


Okay, baseball is one thing. Rafael Palmeiro can go and talk about Viagra and he'll get razzed, but it doesn't hurt his team. There's something vaguely not quite right with Baseball anyway, as baseball has references to players with "three balls" and bats are called "wood". Maybe baseball is appropriate for groinal issues.

But please, "The New England Patriots football performance brought to you by Levitra: when you're flogging a wet noodle, think Levitra and the New England Patriots!"

"Brady sets up to pass, the rush is on, he scrambles, evades the sack!, And remember, when you're penile dysfunction problems cause you to evade the sack, think Levitra and the New England Patriots!"

"The snap, the ball is down, Vinateri kicks, Patriots score!!! Which is more than you're doing if you don't take Levitra, the Official Erectile Aid of the New England Patriots."

Actually, this works on many levels. Perhaps they could bring back Zeke Mowatt as a celebrity endorser. Maybe even Lisa Olsen.

Well, that's it. Say goodnight, Gracie. The 2003 New England Patriots football season is officially over.

(Note, this was written before today's dismantling of the Philadelphia Eagles. All is forgiven. Go and support your team, go out and buy some Levitra today.)

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