Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Soundtrack of our lives...

Well, all the major party candidates are trotting out their theme songs. So rich boy John Edwards, who's building a 55 thousand square foot house on 40 acres of land in North Carolina is using "Our Country" by John Mellencamp (maybe he's suggesting that he's so rich he can buy the entire country), and Chris Dodd, the Senator from Connecticut, is trying to make us forget he's the token old white guy in the race by using "Get Ready" by the Temptations.

Hillary will take the stage to "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Jones (an obvious play for the evangelical vote) while Iowa Governor Tom Vilsac uses a song I might actually use if I was running in non-bloglife, "Let the Day Begin" by The Call.

But, as I am running in bloglife, I have no need to use a song anyone might like. So, as my trusty advisers, my wetbar, I need some advice. What song should we use as the theme song of this glorious campaign of global domination of hope and love...

As a Yankovicicanocrat, or something like that (I can't be bothered to check last week's post to see the name of our political party), perhaps we should use a Weird Al song. The polka mixes are intriguing, as you get many, many songs for one licensing fee. The latest remix, off of Straight Outta Lynnwood has a bunch of good riffs that provide a good picture of what we stand for in this campaign;

"I say you don't show
Don't move, time is slow
I say take me out!" - Take Me Out, Franz Ferdinand - bespeaks the immediacy of this campaign and how important it is to act now and vote for me!

"When the pigs try to get at ya
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot" - Drop it Like It's Hot, Snoop Dogg - good advice for anyone dealing with the police

"I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)" - Candy Shop, 50 Cent - see, we're a pro-young person campaign... hold on... oooohhh... That's not what that's about? No? Really? Oh my, that's dirty... Moving on.

(The very unsettling aspect of having the Boy get into Weird Al is that he walks around the house singing "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me"... I really hope he doesn't sing that at school, or we're going to need to teach him how to streetfight...)

Another possibility could be "Gimmie the Prize (Kurgan's Theme)" from the movie Highlander. I certainly think the whole "here we are, Princes of the Universe" thing sums up our campaign well. Plus it'd be real cool to be immortal.

Another good one is Sunday, Bloody Sunday by U2. But you've gotta admit between sporting events and other politicians, U2 has become a bit cliche. So to take it up a notch, we could have our version be the one rapped by President Bush at his last State of the Union. It'd work on multiple levels; Republicans would think we were down with the whole Bush thing, and Demmies would think we were poking fun at George W.

We could go old-school, and use an old Dylan song. I always liked Subterranean Homesick Blues. "You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows..." It's blowing toward a Kal victory, Baby!

Or, I could stay old school, and at the same time invoke another political hero of mine, former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld. In his 1994 reelection for Governor he used the Grateful Dead's Truckin' as a campaign song, perhaps the first time in history a candidate has used a song with a line like "Livin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine,".

Oh well, perhaps I should just pick a theme song that sums up my personality? That would be this one, or course;

Well, loyal supporters, you got any ideas?


Gino said...

how bout Public Image by PIL

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.
You never listen to word that I said
You only seen me
For the clothes that I wear
Or did the intrest go so much deeper
It must have been
The colour of my hair.

Public Image.

What you wanted was never made clear
Behind the image was ignorance and fear
You hide behind his public machine
Still follow the same old scheme.

Public Image.

Two sides to evrey story
Somebody had to stop me
I'm not the same as when I began
I will not be treated as property.

Public Image.

Two sides to evrey story
Somebody had to stop me
I'm not the same as when I began
It's not a game of Monopoly.

Public Image.

Public Image you got what you wanted
The Public Image belongs to me
It's my entrance
My own creation
My grand finale
My goodbye

Public Image.

Kal said...

Good choice Gino, good choice. And it made me think of another one that I can't believe I left off: "I'm The Man" by Anthrax. Now the lyrics aren't as intelligent as PIL's, but the song does kick @ss...

Gino said...

now, if you can just add the background music to the page, we'll be all set to start the campaign.

also, i would likely be coming here every five minutes to hear the song.
(yeah, its one of those blood moving favs from my youth)

Avitable said...

That's an easy one:

"Dare to be Stupid".

Sornie said...

If I was choosing a themesong for my bid as president, I would choose the 90s classic "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred. Listen to it and find out just why I am "too sexy for my shirt".

RW said...

Don't don't don't let's start
I got a weak heart
and I don't get around
how you get around.

I want the Fed Chair.

Kal said...

Gino: Very nice, but a little too English, don't you think? You're not some limey poofta, are you? (Oh, and I've reconsidered, you can have Secretary of War. Find me a little country to invade when I need to deflect public attention from some intern scandal, ok?

Av: Oh, what a great choice. Want a Supreme Court seat?

Sornie: Yes, that would be a quite accurate themesong. Thanks for stopping by.

RW: Nice catchy They Might be Giants song. Excellent. Your wish is my command, go lecture congress on basis points and irrational exuberance.

Avitable said...

Yes. Definitely. I can go naked under my robe.

Kal said...

Av - Just don't use one of those pump things and get us both in trouble, okay?